Love without Initial Attraction?


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How much do we really need physical attraction to have a long lasting and meaningful relationship? Can you imagine getting physically intimate with someone that you share the same values, personality traits, and aspirations with but are not physically attractive to? eHarmony is the online dating site that takes beauty out of the picture and looks into the depth of the person to see if you are really compatible together. Despite physical features. By taking the personality questionnaire, eHarmony is the site that pre-screens compatible singles for you. You don’t have to scrutinize multiple members profiles to find a potential partner. The eharmony compatibility system does it all for you. Thus, saving you time and energy. eHarmony is known for its members to be much more serious about dating and finding a partner compared to other sites known for one night stand. It is an extremely popular site for heterosexuals and in the beginning there were no same sex matches. However now thorough Compatible Partners you can find someone who is the same sex as you.

Your Profile

Creating your profile does take some time but it’s imperative you answer all questions truly and thoughtfully. You can always take a break if you get tired and come back to right where you left. Unlike you cannot browse through other people’s profiles. The answers you put will determine how eHarmony will match you this is crucial you do so. It takes time to tick all the boxes and there is a lot to write about yourself. There are five categories: Openness, Emotional Stability, Conscientiousness, and Extraversion. However the questions are varied and interesting and when you get your personality report back you will be pleasantly surprised how well the system works. The system not only explains your personality it tells you what you have to offer a relationship and what type of person you are compatible with.

Methods of Communication

For free as advertised, you can create your profile, read your comprehensive personality report, and review your matches without photos. You can’t communicate with matches see their pictures, send or receive icebreakers, or email messages until you’re a paying customer. The ‘Icebreaker’ option offers you a drop down menu of different catch phrases you can choose from and then you can send your message immediately. The ‘Guided Communication’ option you send five questions that you pick from a selection with multiple-choice answers. Once your match replies to your questions they can send you theirs. Afterwards you are able to send each other a list of ‘Must Haves’ and ‘Can’t Stands.’ These are ten traits you believe to be important that your partner should have or not have. Once that is done you can send your match three questions of your own. Finally after all of this you can email. Why this is a longer process for some is because it is a good way to narrow the profiles of people who seem great but then once you start emailing with them, you realise you really are not interested. eHarmony also offers the ‘Match Closing’ option. If you find you want to stop emailing with a particular person and you don’t want to see rude there is a polite notice system that offers a wide range of valuable reasons to stop correspondence.


Detailed Personality Profile, no chat no audio or video message, questionnaires and email. iPhone Application which is simple and easy to use.


With your subscription you are able to send and receive unlimited messages, and see who has viewed you. The pricing plan is a little more intricate relating to other sites. The two plans available from the website are as follows:

Premium Personality Profile, and Secure Call plus all Basic Plan features

12 Months  Best Value  £ 14.95 per month Save 50% 1Billed in one installment of £ 179.40I prefer 3 payments
of £ 59.80 2
6 Months  Popular Choice  £ 21.95 per month Save 27% 1 Billed in one installment of £ 131.70 3 Months  Best Starter  £ 29.95per month Billed in one installment of £ 89.85I prefer 3 payments
of £ 29.95 3

Special Offer!

TotalConnect Plan

3 Months  3 for 2! Get Total Connect Free!  £ 17.97 per month Save 40%

Billed in one instalment of £ 53.90

Questions about Subscribing?

0800 917 6197

Call us toll free 10:30 am – 7:30 pm Monday to Friday 9:00 am – 6:00 pm Saturday
Email us 24 hours a day
7 days a week

Beware that with eHarmony there is an Automated Renewal System that payment is non refundable. When you cancel you must cancel within 48 of the expiration date from when you subscribed. If you don’t you will pay for the subscription you originally had. Even if it is for six months and you are done with the site.


As great as eHarmony is, there have been various complaints over the years that you might want to take into account.

1. eHarmony does not take physical attraction into consideration at all. You could look like a super model and still be sent a match of an old fat man who lives in another country from you, just because your personalities matched. Many women and men have complained about this because in retrospect we do want to be somewhat attracted to are partner.

2. You can be rejected. This is a site that does not take just anyone. Which can be a very good thing. So be careful when filling in your profile.

3. When you do have a complaint or want to call and cancel the call centre doesn’t always speak English well or articulately. You may be on the phone longer than planned.

4. There are not a lot of matches that people are impressed with. Many members have complained that they are sent matches who are out of their age range and location. I was personally sent two different matches on two different continents even though I put ‘same country’ as my preference.

5. You could be sent a match of someone who hasn’t been active on the site. But you have no way of knowing that.

Telina’s Tips

1. Since you don’t have the option to look at matches yourself if you want to be sent new matches you need to adjust your match search categories. Which if this is a site based on your what you want, it does defeat the purpose. But if you are paying and not finding anyone you like, you might as well try.

2. Beware of scammers. There have been various reports of people pretending to be from various countries that have lost their passport and need a way home. I also thought it was interested that there were so many John’s and Simon’s. A lot of the same names. Is that who they really are?

3. Even if your marriage is over and you don’t live in the same home you are not allowed to join eHarmony until you are completely divorced. Also if you have been married more than four times, you cannot join.

4. You cannot see the actual last active date that a member logged on. Only if it was within the week. This is good to know, because many people on eHarmony, have a profile but are not a paying customer. It is frustrating that you may never know is someone received your message.